We are thrown across the ground, and some of us land in good spots, others in bad spots. We are scattered. Where we find ourselves is not often where we want to be. We would rather be somewhere else, somewhere much better. Failing that, we would like to escape from where we are. Escape away. Unplug, unhook, and float away.
You could call this frustration, or anxiety. The feeling itself can be dull and then spike. Duration has a multiplying, paralyzing effect. Each added moment contains a loud, screaming assertion of the unbearable now.
You feel caught, and it is easy to lose faith in a way out. There usually is one. But when you’re paralyzed, you need a pivot thought. Something that creates some space to move. For me, that thought is that this is how things are (temporarily) supposed to be, that the good I want is blinding me to the good that is available.
Your soul needs pleasure, but pleasure is a delicate mystery, always dancing within us and around us. Your soul will lead you to it, help you unlock it, access it, if you can muscle out some thought on the opportunity of your situation — this strange spot you landed in when you were thrown across the ground. If you lose faith in the presence of opportunity, you can fall into the trap of desperation. Then we get forceful in indulgence, destructive of ourselves, welcoming of a quick escape, a joy pulse, and a subsequent numbed recovery.
We need to worry more about the trap than the relative apparent advantages of where we have fallen to and come to rest. Embrace the freedom of denial and confusion. It is just a transition, a uniquely human transition, to a uniquely human moment of insight into this mysterious existence. There is special pleasure there, and it’s waiting for you.